This is a reply to my little sister Ladonna, whom I still love very much and hope she loves me. The rest of you are invited, even encouraged to listen in. 

Can I say that Anabaptist theology is, in my humble opinion of course, comes the closest to applying scripture save a couple of minor trivial details. Mennonite Culture, on the other hand, is a whole different story! Mennonite Culture is not a theology.

About the last name thing. I know that I was never judged by my last name in our Mennonite circles… wait, do I know that? It says something very definite in our settings. It says right off the bat that I or a parent or a grandparent (no further back then grandparent because the name is basically known to most after a few generations, usually, example, Clugston, McGrath, Warfel) was a transplant from one of our communities. It’s a good thing right? In my case it was my decision and a good one too I should think. But in a world where the name Garthwaite is not one that is ever heard, EVER, it has (most times, in our more conservative venues) brought a look of shock and confusion. I have even had people turn and walk away from me. Why is that? Is that my imagination? I don’t think so. To be fair, I have had people praise the Lord that I was one of them, or that there was new DNA in the culture, I don’t know. I’ve talked to many people, also transplants from their communities, say that they have had similar experiences. Is it a just Mennonite thing? I would say that it’s not. If I were going to the Korean Baptist Church down the road, I would expect that people would wonder why I was there but I would obviously be an outsider.

I think that most of the people who have 500 years of Mennonite/Amish background tend to take too lightly what a struggle it can be for people trying to assimilate into a culture that can be frankly hard to understand. Yes, it’s true that your dad many times told me what I was doing wrong as a young man and yes it offended me at times. That was my fault for being too sensitive but I was only that sensitive because I wanted to be one of you so badly. I used to pretend that I was related to you. I know that It’ll sound like a contradiction but when Mark would tell me that I shouldn’t say this of that, or that I shouldn’t do this or that, it was a reminder that I didn’t really have a family like most of the other young people. I know I’m not saying this right, as hard as that is to explain. When I left church the church house on a Sunday morning or left the Festival at the end of the day or came home from church retreat, I went home to that trailer to the single mother that raised me. Every single thing in my life reminded me that I was not as good as everyone else. That may not really be true but in my eyes it was. Every single thing in my life made it clear that I wasn't like the people that I loved and wanted to be like. The unfortunate truth is that there was no way that could be like that.

For all of you out there that have the 500 years of history, and a mother and father and brothers and a long history with the same people in the same community and can relate to the same people with the same … sameness, please try to be more patient, maybe a little more sensitive to those of us that live with the scars of sin. Some scars are on the outside where they can be seen, Tatoos, knife wounds, long hair or whatever. Some have emotional scars; deep needs for security and significance and a sense of belonging. Whether we deserve rejection or not by the way we speak, act, carry ourselves, or even intimidate, Christ calls us all to forebear one another. Speak the truth of course, but speak it in love. We need to approach people in love, as equals and not shy away in fear. If people get fed up and leave (which happens with what should be alarming frequency) and think that Mennonites are the worst hypocrits in the world then so what if we have personally done OUR BEST in the way we treated people. By the way, I think that many at Central (especially Mark and Ruth) did their best for me and no I don’t think that Mennonites are the worst people in the world (note that I am still one, though not as conservative). I just think that Mennonite Culture …well, to say the least needs a serious revision! We name the name of Christ not Menno. Menno wouldn’t want us to name the name of Menno I should think. Menno was really an exceptionally accepting and generous man, a radical in a way. I wonder how he would have fared in a Holmes or Lancaster county.